20/2/15

Dear Diary,

It’s time for one of the big games. England V. New Zealand. Both teams with a lot to prove. New Zealand that they are genuine contenders for the cup. England that that they are not a bunch of also rans in the one day game. New Zealand have momentum. England do too but not in the direction they want. They think they can turn it around in this match. In many ways this game will set the tone for both nations for the rest of their time in the World Cup.

It’s a big game indeed.

This morning I head into town to join in the “Fan Zone” before the game. I usually avoid these type of “fun” things like the plague as they are notoriously not “fun”. There is promised to be a marching band that will march us all along to the ground at noon but when I arrive at 11:30 a chatty volunteer tells me the march time is 12:30. Fine. that still gives us time to get to the ground, through security and into our seats before the toss. At 12:30 I'm getting anxious that he Royal New Zealand Air Force Brass Band hasn't even started up yet but, as soon as the do, I wish they hadn’t. Life is too short to listen to rubbish Beatles song covers. At 1pm they stop and an announcement is made that the march will start at 1:30pm, directly after a 30 min routine of Morris dancing ... and I thought life was too short before!

In an effort to murder some time I decide to get my face painted in something suitable New Zealand-esk. well, when in Rome...

I am almost literary posting my colours to the mast with this gesture and despite supporting England most of the time in bilateral series’ it just can't be done during world cups.

The face painting girl paints a silver fern on my cheek in under one minute then boots me out of her chair. Still 29 minutes to kill then.

(sigh)

Eventually, after the sky has fallen and the last stars in the universe have blinked out of existence, the Morris dancers finish and the brass band strikes up leading those of us who haven't been bored to death along behind them to their limited repertoire of ‘Yellow Submarine’ and ‘oh bla di, oh blah blah blah blah’. There are about twenty fans behind them as we head out to the ground but, just like the pied piper, by the time we arrive at the stadium there must be around 250 plus.

Wellington stadium is lovingly called ‘The Cake Tin’ by the locals because it looks a little bit like a cake tin. It actually does look like a cake tin.

I arrive in time to miss England win the toss and chose to bat. There is someone sitting in my seat when I get there and the conversation goes from polite, to terse, to polite before I eventually claim my designated seat.

Then it’s game time !!!

England set a decent pace (for them) at the start and after 10 overs they are 2 /43 with Bell and Ali out to some great deliveries by Southee. After 20 overs they are 3/79 at an all right, but not scintillating pace. From there its all down hill and there is no chance of stopping the slipping down the slope and by 30 overs they have slumped to 7/114 and are all out for for just 123 in just 33.2 overs. Southee claimed seven wickets (the most for a New Zealand bowler in O.D.I.s ) in what can only be described as a humiliating effort by England. Only Root put on anything close to a score to end up finishing out on 44, caught going for some desperate big shots attempting to get his 50 as he was running out of partners. It’s hard to have sympathy with him for falling short though as he didn't attempt to farm the strike with the tail.

When New Zealand come out to bat for 9 overs before the scheduled break they come out firing! McCullum hits the second ball he faces for six and, when he charges Broad two balls later and swings and misses had me thinking ‘settle down there captain. No need to go mental, there’s plenty of time.’ When he smacks the next three deliveries for successive fours everyone ends up thinking ‘ OK. You go for it then’.

The chance to see the greatest players play at the peak of their performance against every other great player from every other nation is the reason why the World Cup is such a watched event. And the prospect of seeing something special is what captures the public's imagination. Today, we were treated to something special by McCullum who scorched 50 runs in only 18 balls. The fastest in World Cup history (and the 3rd fastest in all O.D.I.s)

The strength and power of the shots had me thinking that I could crowd catch one of his massive six’s even though I was sitting all the way back in row ‘V’. He looked like a man on a mission to prove that New Zealand have everything it takes to win everything in their way and set about bruising the bowling as much as possible. He took 18 of broads first over and when he was replaced by Finn McCallum took it to him as well. Finns two overs went for 49 runs and England had already run out of ideas.

It looked like McCallum wanted to wrap up the game before the innings break but that was always going to be a massive ask but at one point I thought he would take it to just needing 1 single run to win, and then go for the 45 minute rest and drag England back out for a humiliating post dinner thrashing.

That wasn't to be though as McCullum was out just before the dinner break (77 of 25 balls), bowled by a Woakes full toss (by this stage I was surprised that England didn’t resort to bowling donkey drops at him as nothing else was working), and with him gone the scoring really slowed down.With only a handful of runs needed for victory the umpires took the players of the field for the scheduled dinner break much to the annoyance of the locals in the crowd and to the relief of the, unusually quiet, barmy army. Most of the English fans had already left by this stage and none of the ones in my immediate area came back after the break which was understandable really.

As it was new Zealand needed 12 to win after dinner which they did in their own sweet time. Broad helped them out by bowling a pointless bouncer that sailed over batsman's and keeper's head to go all the way to the boundary for 5 wides, which summed up England's ridiculous play in this game.

Game due to finish 10pm. Game actually finished 6:30pm!

The stadium announcer encouraged people to hang around and watch the post match presentation in an effort to avoid the stadium vomiting people out into the middle of rush hour traffic, something he can't have had to do too often before.

Some of the Kiwi fans start taunting the remaining English by chanting “You're worse than Scotland.” but this makes me feel bad for both my nations (I am Scottish as well as British) and I try to encourage them to change it to “Scotland is better than you.” as it sounds a little more positive to at least one of my nations. Considering that we, Scotland, scored more runs against New Zealand and took more wickets in their chase I would say that Scotland is better than England.

But us Scots have always known that.

Mind you, the true test will come on the cricket field when Scotland play England in a couple of days time. A match I am really looking forward to.

The Kiwis have almost a week off before they face tougher competition in the form of Australia (which is also a match I’m really looking forward to!)

After I make it out of the stadium I take a slow walk back along the waterfront and enjoy a couple of hours of al fresco drinking and spontaneously dancing to various buskers in the warm evening air. I take my leave and head back to the accommodation when they start breaking out bad Beatles cover versions.
life is just too short.

"Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it." Jules Renard - (1864 - 1910)