I had a leisurely breakfast on Saturday morning and started watching the fourth morning of the Cardiff test. That great bunch of world-beaters, or so the English press and Sky TV tell us, were already wasting time. The first over didn't start until 11:03!
After more unnecessary field changes and several requests to have the ball changed, a few overs were bowled without any threat to the Aussie batsmen. Sick of such rubbish, and afraid that David Lloyd might start up with his twaddle, I left for the Phoenix Park .
When I arrived at 12:15, expecting a one o'clock start, Phoenix were already 60-4, with David Langford Smith and Conor Kelly at the crease. I learned that Reinhardt Strydom and James Parkinson had each bowled fine opening spells for YMCA, taken a Flanagan apiece, allowed Matt Plunkett-Cole to run himself out, and had the home team at 20-3.
I had just missed Andrew Downton falling lbw to Paul Beacroft for 13 to make it 54-4. Lanky and Polly were working the ball around, taking their singles, and in as much trouble as were North and Haddin at Cardiff – none. Warwick Armstrong tried himself, and Jonny Harte, and Stu McCready, but the boundaries started to flow, and both batsmen passed fifty.
Wazza kept shuffling his deck without bringing back his openers, and both batsmen kept reaching for the long handle. Two hundred was passed when the skipper got one to rat on Lanky. On the same score, 205, Polly had one swing too many at Smacker and found Paul Beacroft in the deep. The scorers agreed that Kelly had 74, but one made Lanky 86, the other 88. They eventually agreed on the devil's number, 87.
Strydom and Parkinson returned, Rainy removing Paddy Conliffe and Masud Ahmed, but skipper Corey Dickeson pucked the ball around until in the last over he nicked off to Parky. In true Aussie fashion (?) he marched off without looking at umpire Rod Molins, but was halted as he neared Marty Block at square leg.
After a little arm-waving he returned to the crease, Rod Molins signalled no ball, and Dickeson whacked a few more to finish on 27*, as Phoenix closed on 246-8. It transpired that Wazza had realised that he was outside the circle at backward square leg, and as there were only three other fielders in the circle, it should have been called no ball.
He withdrew the (non-existent) appeal and told his oppo to continue. Would that all cricket was played in such spirit! Strydom finished with 3/36 off his 10, and Parkinson 1/34 after a first seven-over spell of 1/12. Paul Beacroft's ten overs returned 1/41.
The home side contributed to the festival atmosphere with a terrific salad tea, and with one computer churning out the D/L tables and the other charting the progress of the rain belt as it spread northeast across Leinster, YMCA started their reply. Left-armer Andrew Downton was getting plenty of seam movement, and moved one away from the right-handed James Shortt which was knocked out of Lanky's hands at slip by stand-in keeper Alastair Stone.
He then moved one away from the left-handed Strydom which hit him on the knee roll. I thought it would have crept over the bails, but Marty Block didn't, and Rainy was gone for 10. Etesham Ahmed played one cracking cover drive, then played a dreadful shot to be caught off Rory Flanagan.
45-2 became 50-3 when Graham Flanagan, despite a broken finger, took a fine catch at deepish mid off to remove Stu McCready. Shortt was merrily carving away, and with Beacroft advanced the score to 72-3 off 14 overs. The sky was filling in, and the only question was would we get to 20 overs to bring into the reckoning a D/L target score? For 20 overs, the D/L par score was 96-3, so YMCA were in a strong position.
But Andrew Downton was going to bowl his 10 overs straight through, and produced three excellent overs, the last a maiden, to finish with 10-2-27-2. At the other end Conor Kelly had replaced Rory Flanagan, and he too was on the spot when it mattered, so that after 20 overs YMCA were only 84-3, 12 behind on D/L, and the rain beginning to spit and spot ever more heavily.
David Langford Smith then went for 11 to bring YM within three of the par, Conor Kelly went for 4 to get YM to two short of par, and Masud Ahmed bowled the twenty-third over with the rain now becoming persistent. Two runs were scored before the final delivery, a long hop, was whacked to deep square leg by Shortt.
Three yards either side of Graham Flanagan and it was a boundary, taking YM beyond the par score of 104. But the younger Flanagan held on to the catch, Shortt out for a fine 56, and the D/L par score was now 120-4. Eight runs came off the 24th over, but after one ball of the 25th Rod and Marty had had enough of the rain and led the players off.
YMCA finished on 110-4. The par for 24 overs was 123, so Phoenix won by 13 or possibly 14 runs: it's irrelevant for bonus point purposes; Phoenix 20 – YMCA 5. It was raining in Cardiff , too, with England desperately hoping they had wasted enough time to avoid a defeat. It might be better in the long run if they spent their time learning how to bat properly.
Sunday dawned bright and breezy, though by midday the shower clouds were building up. I was on the other side of the park wall, in the Cabra Oval, to witness the bottom of the table clash between Old Belvedere and CYM. The ground looks quite nice these days, now that the trees round the boundary wall have matured. That could be my last compliment for quite a few paragraphs.
Belvo won the toss and batted. Robbie Patterson nicked off first ball, and Darrell Calder and Sameer Dutt dug themselves in. Sameer had started to look like the batsman of last year when, on 13, he chased a wide one from Plates Brennan and Josh Smith took a good low catch.
Yogesh always plays his shots, but can't keep them down. He was dropped by Brad Rasool on 10, then on 15 drilled one waist high to extra cover. It hit Niall McDarby in the midriff, woke him up, and he hung on to the rebound. That was 54-3. In came Arsed Ali, and he immediately busied himself working singles.
DC is a block or hit man, but he increasingly managed to work his ones and twos once Plates had bowled his overs straight through (10-1-20-1). CYM's bowling is thin with Michael Launders in the side, and, Plates apart, jejune without him. Robbie Henson's straightbreaks and John Hoey's lobbiers had to pass for Senior bowling while DC and Ali had to pass for Senior batsmen.
Both batsmen passed fifty. Ali was eventually bowled by McDarby for 56, Sreekanth biffed 12* and DC bored his way to 63* out of a total of 190-4 (28 wides). It was a decent score, particularly given the verdant outfield. Henson's ten went for 35 and JH's for 36.
After the third brief interruption for a shower, one over was lost, and the D/L par was 193 off 49. Shortly after one of those showers, sawdust was called for and, when a sack of the stuff was brought out, that raised the brain power of the fielding side by 25%.
After a very nice tea (as ever in Cabra), Kenny McDonald and Robbie Henson started off as if they meant it, and plundered the first eight overs of tripe from Asad, Del Boy and Ben Whittaker for forty runs. But Belvo's slow bowlers are a different proposition, particularly on a helpful pitch.
Kenny Mac (14) was given lbw with the keeper appealing from short fine leg. Donal Vaughan is in the same group as Sameer Dutt as someone who used to be a good bat last year, and eventually nicked Sameer to George O'Donnell behind the stumps for 15. Brad Rasool missed a straight one first ball, Robbie Henson middled his lbw, and it was 70-4.
Darren Nicol played a couple of shots to post 11, and Niall McDarby looked as if he'd held a bat before for 9*. Roxy and JH used to be good players. 112 all out off 42.5 overs, with Sreekanth 10-3-11-0, Saadaf Raza 10-3-22-3, Sameer Dutt 7-0-15-2 and Yogesh 7.5-0-21-5.
When Aussies appeal for everything, no matter how ridiculous, it's gamesmanship. When south Asians appeal for everything, no matter how absurd, it's their natural exuberance, and to suggest otherwise is racist. England did get their draw, showing that cheating works.