Now, I'm a man of the world. I am, after all on Turk's email distribution list and have seen a few things I really wish I hadn't. I have been to Amsterdam and walked past a number of locations on the way for a drink, where there are bikini clad young women dancing in the window who don't realise it is cold outside. Hell I have even been on a few cricket tours in recent years and seen enough to know that there are a few individuals who enjoy a party.

I know that many of you who read this have been to the West Indies and enjoyed Ireland's Caribbean adventure. Now Antigua is somewhere I haven't been but I can't imagine it is greatly different to Barbados, St. Lucia or Jamaica. If you want some female company and you don't have the patience to sweet talk, there is always a lap dancing club you can head to where for a small sum of money you can be deluded into thinking you are an attractive individual.

Now I personally have never visited such an establishment so you are going to have to help me out here. Could you get a dance for $20? Maybe, maybe not? What about $200? You might be able to get slightly more than a dance. For $2000 you should really get your money's worth. Call me naïve but for US$20,000,000 you would expect a little more than a fully clothed pregnant woman, with no sense of rhythm, sitting on your lap, with her husband watching on a big screen.

The clash between the England cricket team and the West Indies cricket team for the Stanford Super Series will go down as the most hideous piece of television since X Factors Girl Band had a sing off with Bad Lashes. It is instantly forgettable. The West Indies team cannot even be called West Indies due to their contract with Digicel so they are known as the Stanford Superstars. Someone ought to sue under the Trade Descriptions Act that any member of the current West Indies team should be mentioned in the same sentence as the word superstar.

Reality TV cricket has arrived. England should be wearing white sparkly suits to do justice to the American Smooth, and the team selected by the public vote. Bruce Forsythe could present it and Mark Ramprakash and Darren Gough flown in to dance with the WAGS.

In life everyone has their price. For $1,000,000 I would be prepared to put up the ‘Garden Party' atmosphere. I would also endure the fact that Sir Allan Stanford has access to the players changing rooms and not complain about the lack of professionalism in the organisation. I would accept the poor pitch and dodgy floodlights which will turn the game into one of pure luck. (When is 20/20 anything but pure luck at this level?). You know for $1,000,000 I might even do a fully clothed lap dance for Sir Allan that would be more embarrassing than an England WAGs.

This whole event is pointless. Cricket has sold out on the whim of one man's wallet which is matched only by his ego. The match is only compelling viewing because of the sum of money. Compelling in the same way you slow down on the motorway after a big pile up to have a good gawk at the carnage.

This could not have come at a worse time. Stock market falls around the world have seen millions lose their savings and their retirement funds shrink. People are losing their jobs and are finding things really tough. Yet obscene amounts of money are being thrown at players to dance like circus bears on hot coals for Stanford's enjoyment whilst images of the great benefactor will be beamed around the world.

I don't begrudge the players earning decent money as it is a short career. But the players nowadays aren't exactly on their last uppers. Ok it is true they don't earn as much as Premier League footballers but this money and the type of riches available in the IPL have catapulted cricket into the big league of earners. Mahendra Singh Dhoni ($1.5M), Andrew Symonds(S1.35M), Sachin Tendulkar ($1.21M), as well as Rahul Dravid, Yuvraj Singh and Sourav Ganguly all earned over US$1,000,000 for 8 weeks work during the IPL. The winners of the Stanford match will manage that in one week. No doubt the England players were dancing with glee at the collapse of the pound on the Foreign Exchange this week.

There comes a time when the public see sportsmen in a different light. That usually occurs when the money they earn reaches a tipping point taking them beyond what the public believe is fair and reasonable. Although unhappy about it they will accept it until they mess up. This week we had a schoolboy prank of Russell Brand and Jonathan Ross go horribly wrong. They apologised for the upset they caused Andrew Sachs and in truth that should have been that. But Brand and Ross are paid by the BBC which is funded by the licence payers. ‘Woss's' wages have been the subject of debate for a few years. Now he has messed up the public want their pound of flesh. The furore is about money not bad taste.

The Stanford Super Series will be forgotten about as a sporting contest by the time the players have had their shower after the game. But the public will not forget the money they were paid. When one of them steps out of line expect all hell to break loose. Freddie's 3 day bender after winning the Ashes will be seen in a different light. Instead of amusing they will say it is a disgrace. Paul Collingwood's visit to a lap dancing club in Cape Town won't be forgotten as quickly if it happens again. He can expect the same sort of stick Wayne Rooney gets for grabbing a granny. Mind you if England win there's no better man than Paul Collingwood to show Sir Allan Stanford that with the greatest respect to Mrs Prior you can get a lot more bang for your buck.