The Eurovision Song Contest contained no surprise for any seasoned watcher. There were the usual attempts to camouflage lousy songs: the Polish décolletage that went well south of Watford; the Swedish miniskirt that showed legs all the way up to the M6; the Spanish exhibit of ten of the finest norks west of the Balearics. They didn't work. The win went to the biggest bully-boys on the European block - Russia. How did this victory compare to events earlier in the day at the Inch?

Well, the North County bully-boys won the toss and started off in typical fashion. Conor Armstrong hit the first three deliveries from Carlo Rendell for four, and then had a look at the bowling. Shane O'Connor also favoured the front foot, and the two had put on 46 when Armstrong drove loosely and was caught at cover for 27.

Blackie O'Connor, also on 27, was surprised by one that lifted a little, and lobbed it to backward point. When Brian Shields, Baltothery born but Aussie brought up, nicked another lifter to James Rogan behind the stumps it was 91/3 in the 18th over. This relative crisis just made André Botha and Richie Lawrence play properly.

André in form is a delight to watch: like all class bats, he's lethal on anything even marginally short of a length. With Lawrence he accelerated the scoring, reaching his fifty of 51 deliveries, watched his mate pass that milestone off 54 deliveries, and then pinned his ears back and went for it. He survived a sharp caught and bowled chance on 90, completed his ton a few balls later (77 deliveries) and was finally caught on the cover boundary for 116 off 85 deliveries with the score on 254 in the 38th over.

In came Adrian Murphy, who immediately pulled something in his groin and sent for a runner. He tends to loiter without intent if front of middle early on in his innings when he's batting free of pain, so it wasn't a shock when he was pinned in front of all three for 15. Dara Armstrong helped Lawrence take the total to 322 off 45 overs, but could perhaps have tried a little more intelligently to help him to his ton. Lawrence finished on 95* off 80 deliveries.

For Railway, Trent Copeland returned 1/53 off 9 overs and Simon Grehan 1/35 off 7. They were the only two who went for less than a run a ball, the others, a wounded Trent Johnson included, 2/228 off 29. The Inch isn't the easiest place to bowl economically, but it makes things more controllable if you bowl one side of the wicket.

At tea Murph was wandering around with a huge lump in his groin: I couldn't work out whether it was an ice pack or he was just pleased to see a couple of the yummy mummies at the christening party upstairs. He took the field with the help of the magic spray (perhaps administered by a lucky mucky yummy mummy).

Railway started carefully and without incident until Kenny Carroll, on 11, sparred at one from Denver D'Cruz which flew low to first slip. Brian Shields claimed the catch, Carroll stood his ground, and umpire Kevin Gallagher consulted his mate at the striker's end. Rodney Molins was happy that it was a fair catch, Kevin lifted the finger, and Kenny departed, after further discussion, most reluctantly. I'd bet that a TV replay would have been inconclusive, but, for what it's worth, it looked wrong to me in real time. However, I retired from umpiring five years ago.

Conor Mullen tried to inject some pace into the Railway innings, and in the process ran out Tom Fisher for 20. I know Mullie is on the fines committee, and I hope he lobbed a good few euro into the kitty for this one. He nicked off from Edward Richardson's bowling for 30 with the score on 71. Just after drinks at 105/3, Trent Copeland was bowled by Dwayne Harper for 18.

Only Trent Johnson was up to the mark, with a fifty off 44 balls, but when he played all round a straight one from Richardson, it was 190/8 and goodnight, Irene. Nobody told James Rogan, and he made 37 good runs in a jolly last wicket partnership with Dermot Fletcher, before Railway were all out for 241 in 42.1 overs.

For County, D'Cruz, who could come from anywhere between Colorado and Paraguay but in fact hails from Canberra, ACT, took 2/35 off his 9 overs. Boats bowled 7 canny overs for 11 runs, Richardson took 2/43 off 7 and Lawrence 2/54 off 8. I hope Pembroke enjoy their DGM Final tea in the Vineyard - Mrs. Clinton still does a mean jam scone - because they won't enjoy getting roughed up by the Balrothery bully-boys. Le ‘Broke, null point!

On Sunday, the only game in town, a WMK Senior B match, was Railway Union v CYM, so I gave my 93 D Sunny its valedictory drive up Cold Blow Lane to chee the Chee. As I watched in my WACUA shorts and LCUA polo shirt (we didn't talk to scorers in those days), Kenny Carroll (13) could have no complaints about his lbw, and Tom Fisher was merrily helping himself to singles to mid off and mid on. But Ullah, at mid off, woke up and threw down the stumps to run out Fisher (34) for a second successive day. Tom can contribute a few of his own euro to the fines kitty for this one.

Abraham Coetzee, bowling off breaks, put in a super spell, and with Michael Launders trundling a good length on off stump, Railway subsided to 87/5. Gareth Carroll joined his skipper and batted as positively as I've ever seem him bat. Trent Johnson started to launch into his favourite drives, and the score moved from 110/5 off 30 overs to 166 when Carroll ran himself out for 29 (more lolly for the kitty) in the 38th over. By this time the breeze had turned into an easterly gale, and I had on my LCUA track suit, top and bottoms.

The big fella now took over completely. He had worked it around for his first fifty (68 balls), pinged it for his second fifty (34 more balls), and then got out the 7-iron to reach 168* in 18 more balls, with 11 fours and 8 sixes. Railway/Trent scored 112 off the last ten overs to reach 289/7. But it needn't have been like that.

In the late eighties TJ went for a sharp single to keep the strike, and survived a very confident appeal. I was in a good position, and thought he had just made it, but a couple of the CYM infielders in an even better position reckoned he hadn't. This is where technology wins every time.

If a direct hit is the only possibility, life for the umpire is simpler - just watch the line, and your peripheral vision plus your ears will tell you when the wicket is broken. But if the ‘keeper or another fielder has to collect the ball, the umpire has to watch that to make sure the wicket is broken legally, and then transfer attention to the batting crease. In that fraction of a second the batsman, especially one as long as Trent, can make his ground and lead to a wrong decision. I don't know how much the necessary camera equipment would cost, but it might be worth it.

For CYM, Ken Brennan took 1/34 off his 10 overs, Coetzee 2/18 off his and Launders 1/37 off his. That leaves 1/200 off the other 20 overs, most of which were bowled at the end in the worst of the conditions. As if the wind wasn't enough, the ground staff turned on the sprinkler for the hockey pitch. Why, I don't know - there were no ne'er-do-wells around wanting to set fire to it. But the spray caused the umpires sufficient discomfort to stop the game until it was turned off. Schpray schtopsh play!

CYM made a poor start to their pursuit of 290. Sechan Mistry strangled one down the leg side to the keeper without scoring, Kenny McDonald (16) poked one into TJ's buckets at silly mid on, and Donal Vaughan (10) thrust his wooden leg in the way of a straight one.

Coetzee and Mark Raftery-Skehan played carefully and well until drinks, when CYM were 101/3, two runs and two wickets better off than were Railway. At this point I had to leave to play bridge for Leinster CC in the Fanagan Cup in Templeogue. To honour the sponsor, it was a dead match - we couldn't win our section, and couldn't be relegated. We established a commanding lead on the first half boards, and knew as long as we did nothing silly in the second dig we would win easily. We didn't and we did. But had Railway done the same?

My informant tells me that although Railway won, CYM did very well. Zog didn't last long after drinks, being out for 30. Colm Morgan came in and scored a rapid 48 (33 deliveries). Abraham Coetzee was eventually dismissed for 75 (87 deliveries), but Launders, the Tallaght Tornado, clubbed 26* to take his side to 251/9, 38 runs short but worth 4 bonus points. Ger O'Brien rolled back the years for 2/30 off his 10 overs, and Conor Mullen and Trent Johnson shared five expensive wickets .

Both teams are short two bowlers. Railway have Kevin O'Brien and Thinus Fourie to come back from the Irish squad. How much is there in the CYM bank account? Or could it be a case of buy one and get one free with Robbie Henson's straightbreaks? I do hope Mary Sharp isn't reading this - she might get the idea that some clubs pay some of their non-professional players, which would be against the rules, wouldn't it?